Fluxus Performances

1. var Tooth Decay = !acceptable

Making sure that your teeth are commonly cleaned is an important part of being an artist and can help prevent periodontal disease and gingivitis. It is important to get into the swing of this if you are to be successful in life. For this first performance, the performer will squeeze some toothpaste onto a normally soft-bristled toothbrush or other teeth cleansing device. The toothpaste should contain a descent amount of fluoride for extra cleanliness. Using short, back-and-forth brushing motions, the performer cleans the outside and inside surfaces of his or her teeth, as well as the chewing surfaces on the top or bottom. It's important to pay careful attention to the gum line, as most gum disease starts in this area, but do NOT scrub too hard, as it may damage your gums altogether. The performer makes sure to brush their back molars as well as the tongue to remove the hidden bacteria that commonly causes bad breath. The most critical part of this piece is the spitting out of the toothpaste and rinsing with water or mouthwash.

2. Stick Work

The second performance is somewhat musical and requires the performer to be familiar with drumsticks to a certain extent. Drumsticks are usually made of wood, often hickory, oak or hard maple, and sometimes aluminum, carbon fiber and other sort of weird plastics. Some sticks have wooden tips and others use acorn, barrel oval and rounded. The performer uses two stick in both hands and holds them almost directly in the center of each stick so that there is an even amount on both ends. The performer holds the sticks out in front of him or her and uses each end back and forth to make clicking sounds with the sticks in an almost perfect 4/4 time. To do this the performer does right hand up and down, then follows with left hand up and down. The performer will do this until such a time as his or her hands are tired or the audience just can't take it anymore because the sound it makes is so fucking annoying.

3. Stick Break

In order to merge chaos with the more artistic, this final performance will use the sticks as well and lead to their eventual downfall. The performer will twirl the sticks a number of ways using both hands and impress the audience with their agility and grace. Then, suddenly, at a moment of artistic and stick-like-athletic-climax; the performer will promptly bring both sticks together out in front of him and Karate Kid them into 4 pieces and throw them at the crowd. Applause Applause Applause, take a bow, exit stage right.